I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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