best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize