Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
