I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
