I got chris browned last night
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
