it wasn't lemon gatorade
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
