I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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