i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
