The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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