So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do vagina's smell?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
