I can text with my tongue
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
