Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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