I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
