Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
