love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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