end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize