I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
