Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
