come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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