btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
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i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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