Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize