i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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