dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
