Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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