i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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