hotel room ftw
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never joke about your clitoris.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
