my soul wont recognize me after tonight
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
