when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
