I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I touched a dick in church today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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