Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My ass is underappreciated
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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