oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Everything about him screamed your future.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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