We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
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Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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