his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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