maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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