Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
