u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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