Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize