nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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