I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize