So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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