You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
