Moan for me like Helen Keller
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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