You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just had sex bonerless
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
