Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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