I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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