I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
