We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
