I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
