This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
