my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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