the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
bring money and cleavage
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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