oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
