I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
