Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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