he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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