literally had 100 drinks last night.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my shit smells like andre
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
