you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
