Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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