In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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