i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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