someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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