ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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