dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
