I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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