There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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