I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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