every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
