On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
