god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
