I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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