somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
